Don’t Allow A Negative Self Image ~ to cloud your golden years

elderly couple beach

When I retired and moved to Florida, I didn’t want to sit around in the house and watch TV all day, and there were just so many times a week I could go out to lunch with my retiree friends. I quickly discovered that the most interesting seniors to be around were working…at least part-time. It wasn’t long before a church friend got me a job as a part-time caretaker for the elderly. It’s a rewarding job, in many ways. But it has a sad side. I soon became friendly with other caretakers and as we talked, I realized how common it is for seniors to have made detailed financial preparation for their latter years, but they hadn’t made emotional, mental, or spiritual preparation. Many had a very derogatory and debilitating view of themselves.

As a believer, I indeed do believe the Bible verse:

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. ~ Jeremiah 29:11, New American Standard Bible [NASB]

I do not believe that verse became null-and-void when I retired. Just because I entered my “senior years” doesn’t mean God stopped having plans for me. I tend not to refer to myself as a “senior.” No, I’m a “seasoned citizen.” I have a wealth of experience under my belt, useful experience that God can put to work.

elderly man NikkonHow seniors think of themselves is very important. We look in the mirror and it doesn’t lie to us. We’re getting older. However, the truth is, age has it’s own beauty. Seniors have to renew their minds to that reality.

How do we renew your minds? The answer is with words. We must not allow ourselves to say any more derogatory words about ourselves and the aging process. “I guess I’m just getting dimmer and dimmer.” “I must be just about useless now.” No! Don’t speak those negative words over yourself! God sees seniors as shining lights, repositories of wisdom.

Say positive words. “I might be slowing down a bit, but I have a lot to offer and there are still things I want to experience, and I will experience those things.” Pick something that you can do that brings joy and do it. Visit your grandchildren. Adopt a rescue pet. Go to lunch with a friend. Phone somebody and pray with them, pray for them.

We seasoned citizens have to take control of any demeaning and self-condemning thoughts that reoccur and linger in our minds. If these negative thoughts seem to go round-and-round on a kind-of loop, we have to banish them. The way to banish those ingrained negative thoughts is to say positive statements aloud. “I’m getting better and better every day,” is an often used phrase. Seniors can turn that into “I’m getting wiser and wiser every day.” Or, “more compassionate every day.” Say the words out loud. Speech cuts through thoughts.

As a believer, I try to say what God has said about me and how I can live my life. I find what God has said about me in the Bible. I try not to first and foremost see myself as getting older, but as His wonderful creation.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. ~ Ephesians 2:10 New American Standard Bible [NASB]

I’ve often heard it said that “do not fear” and/or “do not be afraid” is said more times in the Bible than anything else.

Remember that I have commanded you to be determined and confident! Do not be afraid or discouraged, for I, the Lord your God, am with you wherever you go.” ~ Joshua 1:9 Good News Translation [GNT]

elderly woman museum

One of the best tactics for getting rid of persistent negative thoughts is to intentionally surround ourselves with what is good, pleasing, and lovely. Fill a notebook with beautiful and pleasing pictures from magazines. Hang a painting that delights and gratifies. If you can’t afford to purchase a painting, get one at a thrift store. Thrifting all on its own is fun. Visit a museum. Read an uplifting book. Watch an old comedy movie that will make you laugh…for laughter is good medicine. Be proactive. Chase the blues away. Tell that old-lady/old/man withered up negative self-image to get going…

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ~ Philippians 4:8, English Standard Version [ESV]


 

 

Christmas Day ~ in northeast coastal Florida

IMG_2863After my daughter Vicky made a 117 course Christmas breakfast oozing with cream cheese, butter, and powdered sugar, as well as homemade sweetbread and fresh blueberries, we had to walk some of it off before dinner. Yes, we had seriously over indulged, thus we we had to intentionally burn some calories off. My body is the temple of the Living God, and I have to treat it as if it is.

We headed for the public boat slip on a cove of the St. John’s River located at our local city park. Duval County is gorgeous in December. Here I’m with Sophie the Wonder Dog.

IMG_2872We sat on the dock and watched the sailboats, deep sea fishing boats, kayaks, paddle-boats, and jet skiers go by. Those jet skiers are hearty folk. Even though it’s Florida, the water is cold. I want to encourage those over 50, as well as “seasoned citizens” to get out and do. Go for it. Live life.

IMG_2869A nearby boat-slip…just beyond the dock.

Merry Christmas to all. The Savior was born over 2000 years ago in Bethlehem and He dwells with us. Emanuel, God with us.

May you all be blessed in the new year.

 

 

A Harvest of Blessings by June Foster ~ a spotlight

A Harvest of BlessingsContemporary Romance

 

I’m particularly excited to spotlight June Foster’s new release, A HARVEST OF BLESSINGS,  because it presents a 50+ romance. This blog has featured many articles for 50+ readers. So, the novel is right up our alley.

*****

If there’s one thing Nadia Maguire knows, Jon Maguire robbed her of a godly marriage and left her in financial ruin. The night he was killed in an accident, guilt threatened to suffocate her. She wasn’t sorry he died.

When Nadia accidentally sits on a stranger’s lap in the graveyard where Jon is buried, she’s horrified to learn the good-looking guy with salt and pepper hair is her new boss.

Jared Abrams is a widower who longs to move on. He’s intrigued by the beautiful woman who puts God first in her life. But as their friendship grows, an unexpected obstacle separates them—his daughter Sarah. No one can replace her mother. Especially not Nadia Maguire whose son harmed her in high school.

If Nadia can’t find the funds to get her house ready to sell, she’ll have to balance two jobs with no time left to nurture a relationship with the man she loves. Will she and Jared find a Harvest of Blessings, or a season of drought?

*****

Nike:  Tell us something topical, interesting, funny, or something we would not expect about the writing of this novel.

June: I love to pattern my novels on real life when I can. Several years ago, my husband and I traveled full time in our RV. (That’s another story in itself. I loved the lifestyle.) We spent a winter in Pensacola, Florida. Since my husband is retired military, we stayed in the RV park on the naval post in Pensacola and enjoyed attending the military chapel. We met a couple about our age and went to dinner with them one Sunday. They proceeded to tell us their story. They met in the cemetery on post while both visiting their dead spouses. That idea, or course, sparked a story idea. I recently decided to incorporate the scenario in my next novel. Thus, A HARVEST OF BLESSINGS was born.

Nike:  If this novel is part of a series, tell us about the series.

June:  Yes, A HARVEST OF BLESSINGS is number 3 in my Small Town Series. The series takes place in the fictional town of Oak Mountain, Alabama, east of Huntsville. In book one, LETTING GO, a pastor loses his wife and unborn child to death and can’t find the will to pastor his church any longer. The woman who’s always loved him abandons all hope of a relationship with him. Book two, PRESCRIPTION FOR ROMANCE, is a modern day retelling of the Biblical story of the Prodigal Son. Book 4 is in the works as we speak. The same characters turn up in all four books.

Nike:  If this novel is holiday themed, or is releasing on or near a holiday tell us how you feel about that holiday.

June:  Yes, the novel carries a Thanksgiving theme. At the end of the story, the characters celebrate with a Thanksgiving feast. But that’s not to reveal the ending.

Nike: Is this novel unique/uncommon in some way. Does it deal with age 50+ romance, plus-size issues, disabilities, etc.

June:  The novel is unique in that the romance features a 50+ hero and heroine. I’ve received a lot of responses to the book since it was published. Readers say they enjoy reading romance between middle aged folks.

BIO:

June Foster

June Foster is an award-winning author who began her writing career in an RV roaming around the USA with her husband, Joe. She brags about visiting a location before it becomes the setting in her contemporary romances. June’s characters find themselves in precarious circumstances where only God can offer redemption and ultimately freedom. Find June at junefoster.com.

Purchase on Amazon:  A HARVEST OF BLESSINGS

Find June Foster

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A Ladies’ Thanksgiving ~ ab fab

 

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L to R: Moi w/Sophie the Wonder Dog, Charlotte Woods Innes, Lynn Woods Rix who writes as Dalyn Woods

 

Friendship is so important at any age but is extremely important for the over-50 crowd. I found myself alone in Florida after my husband passed away, but not-to-worry, I was swept up by a group of Christian ladies who like to get out and get going.

I enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with three of these gals. We gathered at my dear friend Deborah William’s house. I arrived early to help Deborah cook the turkey, her first time cooking one.

Each lady brought one or more traditional dishes. I wish I had a photo from last night of Deborah, but I do have one of Lynn Woods Rix and her sister Charlotte Woods Innes. We’re standing in front of one of Deborah’s three beautifully decorated Christmas trees.

Find Over-50 Romance in a Whodunit ~ pre-Christmas sale

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Bertha and Hoot Dagney are perhaps the most beloved characters in my detective series, other than main characters private investigator Veronica “Ronnie” Ingels and deputy Dawson Hughes.

Bertha  brings to mind the old classic war movie saying Big Bertha. She’s a head taller than Hoot and outweighs him by half. When we meet Hoot in the tiny village of Arroyo in west Texas, he’s sporting a beat-up prospector’s hat and has a beard reminiscent of Gabby Hayes. They’re an odd couple for sure. Hoot owns a diner and Bertha is his head waitress and chief pie baker. Bertha is one of those Christian women who is genuinely kind, from the heart. And Hoot is protective of her.

So, what’s award winning HARMFUL INTENT all about?

Sweet, askance romance, warm intimacy, sophisticated themes presented tastefully. (Ages 17 to 117)

Betrayal runs in private investigator Veronica “Ronnie” Ingels’ family. So, why is she surprised when her husband of one year cheats on her? The real shock is his murder, with the local lawman pegging her as the prime suspect.

Ronnie is a sharp shooting, Brooklyn born and raised private investigator who travels to west Texas, where her cheating husband is murdered. As she hunts the killer to clear her name, she becomes the hunted.

Deputy Sergeant Dawson Hughes, a former Army Ranger, is a man folks want on their side. Only he’s not so sure at first, he’s on the meddling New York PI’s side. As the evidence points away from her, he realizes the more she butts in, the more danger she attracts to herself.

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Grace Award 2014 inMystery/Romantic Suspense/Thriller/Historic Suspense

readers-favorite-5-starsReader’s Favorite 5-Star Review

 

HARMFUL INTENT AMAZON PURCHASE LINK

When Over-50 Christian Women Join eHarmony ~ seasoned Christians crush it

img_2160I first joined eHarmony in New York when my husband was spending most of his time with his girlfriend. I charged a year’s subscription to his credit card. I was then living in Brooklyn, NY and knew I’d be moving to north eastern Florida. So, I asked for “matches” (that’s what they call it) who lived in Florida. It was safe because of the long distance. In an entire year, I got one nibble. Still, I amused myself reading the profiles of men in Florida looking for women to be their special something.

So, my eHarmony subscription expired and I didn’t renew. I was in the middle of packing boxes and moving to Florida with a small dog and three cats. I’d no sooner gotten settled in Florida and unpacked, when I got an offer from eHarmony that was too good to refuse. [Somebody who works there has to have been born and raised in Brooklyn.]  I had a full life in Florida, was a member  a great church and of a group that had nothing to do with dating or single life. But the price was right and I signed up again for three months.

This time I was way more picky. And I soon discovered that men who considered themselves to be “Christian” simply meant their parents and grandparents were Christian. It was a family thing, like a box he checked of on the census. To be fair, some of these men sounded really interesting though none of them shared my grace-oriented Christianity beliefs. I’d venture a guess that most of them didn’t own a Bible. There were a few (thankfully, very few) who were looking for well endowed women. I wanted to message them saying, “You’re no kind of Christian.” I did manage to restrain myself. I guess after filling out an exhaustive Q&A personality questionnaire, I expected more from eHarmony. Most of the men (truly Christian or not) didn’t bother to answer any questions. I suspect women on eHarmony fill out the questions, but not so much the men. So, how can women tell what the men are all about? Unless you have true discernment, it’s a crap shoot.

My subscription will expire in another month. It’s been an interesting experience, though not fruitful in the sense of what the company offers. I will not renew again no matter how good the financial offer. I have a friend who met her second husband through Match.com. So I do know God can and does move through online dating. And I do have to note that according to Barna research, there’s a higher rate of divorce among Christians than non-believers. So, quite a few Christian women should be aware of online dating…and not everyone will have my experience,

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