The Benefit of Marriage ~ sustainable prosperity

wedding ringsStatistics tell us divorce is financial devastating for the wife and children. So, the solution must be: let’s just live together. Just live together. Just. Doesn’t that imply something lesser?

Well, just living together , most times, is even worse for the woman and the children when there’s a permanent breakup. So, many single mothers, without benefit of marriage, are on public assistance and food stamps.

Without benefit of marriage. That’s an old sentiment. We don’t think of marriage that way any more. Maybe we should. The benefits of marriage. How about looking at marriage as the beginning of a family legacy, the beginning of joy and lasting prosperity (something two people intentionally build together). It’s not robbing or cheating your spouse of your time, your energy, but most importantly not reneging on your shared dream(s).

Intentional, sustainable prosperity in marriage is so much more than money in a bank account or a portfolio of stocks and bonds. It’s building a dream together. It’s financial security, emotionally healthy relationships within the family, the family home as a safe place to be…all this over a lifetime. It’s getting to the end and looking back with satisfaction, with happiness, with wonderful memories.

That would be a whole knew way of visualizing marriage for so many today. If couples went into marriage that way, that would be revolutionary in a very good way. It would also mean picking your spouse wisely. The wrong somebody is not a good choice.

13-15 And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. ~ Malachi 2:13-15 The Message Bible (MSG)

Christians and Sex Talk ~ It’s Really Not Murder, Trust Me

 

 

Couple on Beach
Courtesy of FreeImages by Bethtt

There’s no problem with waiting until marriage for sexual intimacy. The Bible says so and believing Christians should do so.

There is a problem with waiting until marriage to have “sex talk.” I didn’t say dirty talk. I said sex talk. A lot of young Christians go on their honeymoon and to their wedding bed not knowing what on earth to do. I don’t think many Christians would be surprised to hear it’s not unusual for more than a few married Christians to wonder if their marriage is missing something sexually. [I learned this listening to the Joni Show.] With no previous experience, they have no yardstick to measure, but they have doubts about what’s going on in their bedroom.

Can I suggest to couples, if you’re not adult enough to talk about your sexual expectations, you might not be adult enough for marriage?

Unless couples are cloistered, in this age of over-the-top television and movies, even without any carnal knowledge, couples getting ready for marriage have some idea of what goes on in the married bedroom. So, why not talk about it? Frankly, even before over-exposed media, most couples understood the fundamentals. Anyone who grew up on a farm certainly knew.

What is physically sexually appealing about your partner? Talk about it. What is not sexually appealing? Oh, maybe that’s when a woman doesn’t shave her legs. You’d be surprised to find out how many married women don’t shave their legs unless they know they’re going to be seen out in a dress or skirt. Yes, only if they’re going out. That means hubby is seeing their hairy legs and that might be a huge turn off to him. What about if the husband decides to grow a beard and the wife finds it scratchy when the kissing starts? These are things that should be talked about when the serious discussions about marriage start. Not a good idea to wait until the night before the wedding.

Do you expect your partner to be toned and/or buff and to keep that up? If so, say so during dating. Don’t wait until the first child arrives to tell your wife you expect her to be in better shape. You might get a dirty diaper thrown at you. It’s incorrect to think Christians don’t have these expectations. It might be the wife telling her husband to get rid of his “love handles.” Listen, can we talk? If flab is a turn off to you, discuss it before the engagement. Oh, so you’re thinking that as a Christian you should be above letting a little thing like physical appearance turn you off. News flash, it is physical appearance that is the turn on. Oh, and sense of humor, that lilt in your partner’s laugh, and other ethereal things.

Do you have a fantasy you’ve never shared? She wants to feel like a princess with a rose on her pillow and gallant love talk. She thinks he’ll feel that’s weird or sissified and won’t want to do it. Tell him about it and maybe he’ll think it’s great. He has this little fantasy he’s afraid to share because he thinks she’ll think he’s a reprobate. Tell her. First of all, it’s the real you and she should know. Secondly, she might not think it’s off the chart. Or she may say it gonna take a little tweaking (that’s tweaking, not twerking), but she’ll try it.

Widowed and divorced Christians do have sexual experience and real sexual preferences. It’s really important to talk about this when the relationship begins to move toward seriousness.

What about letting your partner undress you? How about bathing or showering together in a romantic/sexual way? Do you crave eating strawberries with whipped cream in bed? Why not talk about feisty-sex. How feisty is feisty? When does it get scary, too rough? Can it be kinda-rough and still be romantic? Does this include getting bossy? Just because he’s the Christian head of the woman doesn’t mean the husband can be sexually bossy! He’s to love his wife as Christ loved the church…and that includes in the bedroom. Especially In the bedroom.

PERILOUS SHADOWS ~ Not Your Mother’s Valentine Read, but grandma loved it

Often I’ve found that grandmothers have lived long enough, and through enough difficulty they have more forgiving attitude toward mere mortals and their issues, even when there are deep, dark secrets, most carefully hidden. These seasoned ladies have survived quite a bit of stuff, some of it was between a rock and a hard place.

Perilous Shadows

PERILOUS SHADOWS, set in the late 1940s, features Kiera Devane, a pioneer newspaper woman struggling to make it in a man’s world. Grandma and great-grandma recall how hard it was for career women back then. It was a glamorous era, but not all of the men were as gentlemanly as we might like to think. In fact, Kiera’s had it with men. She’s created a tough exterior and has just about given up on the opposite sex. She plans to spend her life alone with only the companionship of her Boxer Aggie.

When a cooed is found dead at the local radio station, Kiera scoops ace radio broadcaster Argus Nye, writing a newspaper story about a new lead in the case before his scheduled broadcast. Everyone warns Argus away from the ‘ice queen,’ but the two decide to team up and hunt the killer.

Mystery readers will love this story as a Valentine’s read. Argus is finally able to gain Kiera’s trust and takes her for a glamorous dinner at the fabled Garden City Hotel, where presidents, politicians, and Hollywood stars have dined. This classic whodunit has no end to twists and turns, and also possesses an unfolding love story.

EXCERPT:

From Chapter 3

Argus walked Kiera out of the diner and took her elbow as her heels tapped down the cement steps. Her suit was austere, yet somehow she made it sizzle. He shifted his eyes away so as not to be caught staring, but not before taking a second look. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

“No, that’s quite all right. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.”

“Still, lass, I don’t feel quite right.”

“This is the Tastee Diner parking lot. It’s well lit. What could happen?”

Argus rubbed his chin. “Oh all right, if you insist. I’ll say good night here.” He’d tried to be the gentleman, but she was skittish as a young filly.

“Trust me. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

Fighting against an uneasy feeling in his gut, Argus walked to his car on the other side of the lot. Since Ada’s death, he’d become overprotective toward women. Fishing in his pocket for his keys, he heard raised voices. One of them, Kiera’s.

“Leave me alone. You cheated on me.”

Argus dashed for Kiera’s car, thinking he recognized the male voice, yet he couldn’t quite place it.

“Give me another chance. You misunderstood. It meant nothing.” Paul Gregorski, sportscaster at the station, had a hold of Kiera’s arm.

A jolt like an electrical charge shot through Argus. “Let go of her if you know what’s good for you.”

Paul dropped the arm and turned to face Argus. “So, you bumped my show for your special report, and now you want my girl.”

“My relationship with Miss Devane is purely professional.” He would not allow the slightest insinuation.

Kiera squared her shoulders. “Look, Paul, I wish you well, but let’s let bygones be bygones.”

The sportscaster slanted his head toward Argus. “I don’t want to discuss this in front of him.”

“I’m not going anywhere unless Miss Devane asks me to leave.”

Kiera pivoted away from them and pulled her car keys out of her purse. “I don’t give a hoot what either of you do. I’m going home.” She slid behind the wheel of the Pontiac, backed out of her spot, and gunned it out of the lot.

Argus watched her signal light flash a right. She made the turn and her taillights disappeared into the twilight. He laughed aloud.

Paul growled. “What’s so funny?”

Argus shook his head and walked to his DeSoto, got in, and put the key in the ignition, but didn’t turn it on. She’d never be mistaken for a Carmelite nun. Not in a million years. Blunt, not soft and feminine like his Ada had been. And where’d Kiera get that short Betty Boop hair-do? Not his style at all. No Sir. Where Ada was a sensitive and godly woman, this one was so hardboiled he couldn’t imagine her on her knees praying. So, why was she so captivating?

PURCHASE LINKS:

Amazon/Kindle. http://amzn.to/13WXqdM

Barnes and Noble/Nook. http://bit.ly/1euVanJ

NikePix

AUTHOR BIO:

Like so many writers, Nike Chillemi started writing at a very young age. She still has the Crayola, fully illustrated book she penned (colored might be more accurate) as a little girl about her then off-the-chart love of horses. Today, you might call her a crime fictionista. Her passion is crime fiction. She likes her bad guys really bad and her good guys smarter and better.

Nike is the founding board member of the Grace Awards and is its Chairman, a reader’s choice awards for excellence in Christian fiction. She writes book reviews for The Christian Pulse online magazine. She was an Inspy Awards 2010 judge in the Suspense/Thriller/Mystery category and a judge in the 2011 and 2012 Carol Awards in the suspense, mystery, and romantic suspense categories. Her four novel Sanctuary Point series, set in the mid-1940s has won awards and garnered critical acclaim. Her new contemporary novel, HARMFUL INTENT, is scheduled to release in the spring of 2014.

She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and the Edgy Christian Fiction Lovers (Ning). https://nikechillemi.wordpress.com/

Roses, red

 

Shakespeare’s ‘Cymbeline’ Turned Into A Cop Movie ~ Filmed in Brooklyn! Where Else?


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School starts tomorrow, so darling daughter and I went to Applebee’s in Sheepshead Bay Brooklyn to celebrate with a mother-daughter lunch. On the way home we stopped to take pictures at one of the locations where the new movie adaptation of Shakespeare’s play Cymbeline is being filmed.

 

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This modern day reimagining of Shakespeare’s story is set in a 21st century American city and will depict an epic battle between dirty cops and a drug dealing biker gang

 

 

Styled after the explosive FX series Sons of Anarchy, Cymbeline will venture into the age old themes of love, betrayal, and revenge.

 

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Anton Yelchin (Star Trek) and Dakota Johnson (21 Jump Street) join a cast including Ethan Hawke, Ed Harris, and Milla Jovovich.  The film is produced by Anthony Katagas (12 Years A Slave, The Immigrant, Killing Them Softly). The location for filming is where Knapp Street meets Voorhies Avenue. This is the border of the Sheepshead Bay and Gerritsen Beach communities which were both hit hard and have not fully recovered from Hurricane Sandy. So, this commercial activity is most welcome.

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