Just Say No ~ to some things

A birdYes things…objects

I knocked my head against the wall until I realized that Chip and Joanna Gaines aren’t the only ones in the “Fixer-Upper” business. The Holy Spirit invented inner transformation…and He’ll get into what’s in your house too. After a lot of kicking and screaming…mostly whining…I’m really good at whining, I allowed Him to show me and teach me about deep issues that were confirmed in God’s Word. I say, “allow,” because the Holy Spirit will not impose Himself upon anyone. I had to be ready, and I had to be a full participant in the journey. And I also allowed Him to do some housecleaning.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7, King James Version [KJV]

I’ve seen Chip and Joanna throw away dysfunctional, non-useful, objectionable, eyesore things/objects when they renovate. The Holy Spirit showed me that I had things, yes things in my house that brought pain.

Say No to Things! ~ The Holy Spirit started teaching me…and I didn’t want to hear it…about some objects/things I owned that were toxic, and I didn’t realize it. Well, that’s not being totally honest. I often felt bad when I looked at the object(s), but I wanted to keep them anyway. They’d been given to me by someone I ‘hoped’ would be able to treat me better, a relative, maybe. Or, they’d been given to me during a special time in my life that I wanted to remember fondly, but the giver had been a wet blanket, had been begrudging. The event I wanted to remember was wonderful, the gift might’ve been lovely, but the giver was toxic, and the object brought a pang of pain when I gazed upon it.

A fairy house

So, the object had negative “soul ties” attached to it. ~~  Biblically, what is the soul. It is our mind, will, and emotions. This is what the Bible calls our soul. It’s not at all the same thing as our spirit, which God breathed into us. Our spirit is our essence and is the very image of God. Yes, we are born with a mind, will, and emotions but they can and will be shaped by exterior things and occurrences. We can have negative soul (mind, will, and emotion) ties to things, to people, and to places.

I’ve mentioned in a previous blog article that my mother was born with juvenile diabetes and back then the disease was a sure killer. However, my grandparents were brave and decided to try a new treatment at that time…insulin. She lived, got married, had a family, but was extremely, exceedingly negative all of her life. Untreated chronic depression. Christmas could be difficult for her. She loved bird ornaments. So, I gave her a bunch of them. However, over the years these ornaments were central to some deeply painful moments. I can recall her lips slipping into that all too familiar gash of a frown. When she passed, I got many of her Christmas decorations, including all of the bird ornaments. Every year, when I hooked them on the branches of my tree, I recalled the love I put into buying them, and then I’d feel pain. Finally, my walk with the Holy Spirit had deepened enough that when I felt him nudging for the third or fourth time (I’d ignored the nudge for a few years), I gave them all to a thrift shop. A year or two later, I was putting up my tree and realized that I was pain free. I was fully enjoying my tree. Praise the Lord.

That is not a put down of my mother. I honor her and her struggle with two wicked diseases: juvenile diabetes and untreated chronic depression. She was also an ethical, decent woman. I have numerous other things/objects that belonged to her that do not have a painful-pang attached to them. I hope somebody purchased those bird ornaments who will love them. I hope the money the gift shop received will go into helping those in need in the community.a vase

That said, I not suggesting that everyone run around their house throwing out, willy-nilly. I’m suggesting that when you feel pain over an object, pray about it, and listen to the Holy Spirit. Is there strife and dysfunction attached to it? On the other hand…He might not tell you to get rid of it at all. The object might have been given to you totally with love by someone who has moved far away, or who has passed away. That isn’t necessarily a toxic pain, but a reminder of love. Sometimes genuine love hurts, but it’s part of a healthy, spiritually maturing life. We have to discern. Discernment is a spiritual gift given by the Holy Spirit. Through prayer and reflection, we can allow Godly discernment to flow in our lives. It will illuminate the way we are to go.

Good Thoughts – Good Memories ~ in 2020

2020 photo

What Are You Thinking On?

My mother had severe juvenile diabetes (type 1) in a time when the disease was a death sentence and insulin was a very new medical treatment. She grew up in the Ukrainian immigrant community where, at that time, there was tremendous fear of injections. My grandparents bravely decided that she should have insulin and she lived. Not only did she live, she married my father, had two children, and had a life. However, she was an exceedingly negative person all of her life. As a child, I didn’t understand her struggle, and I found her constant negativity painful. Despite my mother’s untreated chronic depression, she was a decent and ethical person who tried really hard to live her life and have a family. I understand that now, as an adult and how I think of her has changed a great deal. I now see her in a much more positive light without denying her faults.

My father was pragmatic, unemotional, bookish, and often withdrawn. But he could be very funny and for me that was some relief from the darkness of talking about every thing that was wrong or was about to go wrong.

I took after my dad in a lot of ways. I found refuge in books, and I’d make a joke out of whatever was upsetting and dysfunctional. That was when I was around other people. In private, I was more like my mom, focused excessively on the painful and the negative.

It wasn’t until my mid-forties that I first heard teaching on renewing of the mind and the importance of focusing on the lovely and the good. And by that time, I had  focused on the unlovely, the broken, and the sad so much, that I hardly had any good memories from my childhood, and even from my adult life. They’d all been overshadowed and buried by my rehashing of all the dark and negative moments.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. ~ Philippians 4:8, New American Standard Bible [NASB]

I married a man whose family was even more dysfunctional than mine…if that is even possible. My own immediate family and my extended family had PhDs in negativity. (See, I am still able to make a joke out of the gruesome.)

Well, one day there was great turmoil in my husband’s family. A lot of yelling in the kitchen and people running in and out of the house. So, I went into the living room and started surfing channels on the TV just to block the chaos out. It was a Sunday and I clicked onto this petite blonde lady standing behind a podium. Gloria Copeland. I thought she was preaching, but she is much more a teacher than a preacher. She was no-nonsense positive. Positive that God is a good God, is a healing God, is a loving God. She was intelligent, logical, and didn’t have big hair. That sealed it for me, and by the end of the program, I put my hands on the TV and got saved.

I am aware of true ‘Christian’ positive-thinking that first manifested itself in the 1950s, and that is good. But what I’m talking about is deeper.  It is a real and abiding belief that the power of the Word as written in the Bible is transformative and healing. It is the belief in the supernatural power of God’s living Word. I have to point out here that God’s Word in the Bible is not magical, not hokus-pokus, nor abracadabra. It is the belief that if the living Word gets deep-down within the heart and soul of the believer, it will start to heal those hidden, broken places.

Note: God’s Word in the Holy Bible has structure, context, and order. The Word of God can’t be ripped out of the Bible and thrown around as a quick affirmation for selfish purposes. Any phrase we wish to speak over our situation has to be understood in terms of what came before and after it in the chapter (and even in other chapters and in other books of the Bible). The Bible is a cohesive whole, pointing to and proclaiming Jesus as the Christ, the Anointed One, the Savior.

That said, if you want to get rid of darkness and negativity in your life…if you want to start making some good memories, a good place to start is the Philippians 4 Scripture noted above. Take it apart and on purpose (even if you have to force yourself) start to focus on what is:

  • True
  • Honorable
  • Right
  • Pure
  • Lovely
  • Of Good Repute
  • Having or Striving for Excellence
  • Worthy of Praise

 

All My Tears by Kathy McKinsey ~ an author interview

 

Five women search for God’s hope through sorrow and deep troubles.

All My Tears

Meet five women who struggle with life’s deep sorrows. Beth fights to recover from alcoholism and to mend her relationships with her family. Ann doesn’t believe God will forgive her. Kathleen wrestles with a years-old fear and with saving her marriage. Cassie needs to learn to deal with chronic depression. Martie finds herself the single parent of the eight-year-old niece she barely knows when the child’s parents die in a car wreck.

See how god gives them the gifts of hope, healing, and love.

Flower, rose bud

AUTHOR INTERVIEW:

Nike:  What is the key theme and/or message in the book?

Kathy:  God is our loving Father, and when we stumble and walk away, he waits and watches for us, so that he can see us as soon as we start to return and run to greet us and take us back.

Nike:  Why this genre is important to you, personally?

Kathy:  I write what I enjoy reading. I like books about women, reading how they deal with family and marriage issues; jobs, their work and job setting; and different kinds of relationships—dating, parents, siblings, neighbors, best friends.

Nike:  Does writing energize or exhaust you?

KathyMaking myself start to write exhausts me. When I finally settle into working on a story, I become excited, even after a long session of writing.

THREE FUN BULLET QUESTIONS:

What is your fav vacay spot?  Visiting my mother and daughters in Missouri, Iowa and Wisconsin

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?  A writer

Describe yourself in three words.  Goofy home body

BIOGRAPHY:Kathy McKinsey 2

Kathy McKinsey grew up on a pig farm in Missouri, and although she’s lived in cities for nearly 40 years, she still considers herself a farm girl. She’s been married to Murray for 31 years, and they have five adult children. She’s had two careers before writing—being a stay-at-home-Mom and working as a rehabilitation teacher of the blind.

Now she lives in Lakewood, Ohio with her husband and two of her children. Besides writing, she enjoys activities with her church, editing for other writers, braille transcribing, crocheting, knitting, and playing with the cat and dogs.

Contact Kathy at:  Kathy.mckinsey@gmail.com

Visit her at:  http://kathymckinseyauthor.blogspot.com/

 

Victory Over Despair In A Krazy World ~ the ultimate kind

Don't jump off the end of a pier. Sit down on it and pray.
Don’t jump off the end of a pier. Sit down on it and pray.

 

The Lord spoke to my heart reminding me there are many people who read this blog who feel beset on all sides. They have health issues, or they’re home or car is about to be taken away from them by the bank, they’ve just lost their job, their children are flunking in school, and the like. Most of those who read this blog are Christians, but not all. And when the Lord gave me this inner witness, He wasn’t only talking about believers. Many are hurting right now.

Now is the time for each of us to understand on a deep level that God wants the best for all people. That He loves all people.

Now is the time to understand God has the answer for each of us. It’s time to stop looking to the media for answers, even our favorite media outlets. The media lies, twists the truth, or at the very least presents a mostly negative view of life because they think that garners viewers. So, you have to not take that as your reality, knowing at the very least that picture of life is skewed. Lift your eyes to a higher place. Know the situation is better than what you’re getting from the secular world’s point of view. Know, no matter how horrible it is, you can go through and come out.

Isaiah 61:3a [NASB] ~ To grant those who mourn in Zion (put here wherever you live) , Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.

The NIV translations says, “a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”

God has given you praise as a weapon to defeat despair. So, first and foremost give praise to the Giver. Make sure you’re speaking well of God. Watch your words. They have power and they shape your life. Speak well of your life situation, your talents, your home life, your family, your job. Even if you don’t much like your employer, as long as you accept a paycheck, do not denigrate the company with your words. Pray for your life situation, expecting it to get better, for your talents, home life, your family, your job. Go to God in prayer with complaints, not to your best friend, neighbor, or to those at the water cooler.

Now, in the spirit of transparency, I have to tell you that I’m a great complainer. Boy can I murmur up a storm. So, I know God is giving me this “Word” for me first and foremost, but also for those who read this blog who are burdened about to the breaking point. I’ve gotten better about complaining and when I do catch myself complaining, I pray for those I’ve been murmuring about. I know this has helped me get through and is still helping me get through some difficult situations.

I know I’ve grown spiritually in this regard because I used to murmur about situations that weren’t even that important or threatening…just not to my liking. I don’t do that any more. I’ve improved. At least if I’m going to whine and complain now, it’s going to be about something significant. That’s just a stab at humor. My goal is to quit complaining and to be proactive in prayer and outlook, to develop some spiritual muscles.