I’m So Tired of Angry, Bullying Cowards!!!

BullyAngry, bullying people get a kick out of being terrorizers who intimidate others into doing their bidding. I refuse to see them that way, refuse to give in to their pressure. I think of them as stud-muffins (super cool in their own minds but with a soft, cowardly core). Jerks, is another term that comes to mind. They’re infantile, and this game of theirs is so played out.

 

They splatter their anger all over others
Anger isn’t the same as becoming or feeling angry. We all experience anger, much of it justified. Life is hard, we get knocked around and we become angry. Mature adults learn to control it, to get over it, and not let it rule them. What is disturbing is the trend in our post-modern world is to live angry, to have anger as the premier emotion. We see this on the internet, individuals blasting away at others, literally trying to destroy reputations and lives.

 

The Bible, a book of great wisdom and inspiration, that uplifts and enhances my life, says: BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger. [NASB, Ephesians 4:26] Here we see that anger is not a sin. Well, what is sin? The word sin literally means missing the mark. The emotion of anger is natural, but rehashing it, nursing and feeding it until it becomes a monster is definitely missing the mark. (Note: the italicized yet was not in the original Scripture text. It was added by editors.)

 

Why do anger-mongers do what they do? The payoff to over-the-top anger is intimidation. In their own minds, bullies feel like big shots…powerful. Many times, those wielding intense anger like a sword find they tend to get what they want. So, they ratchet up their anger to even higher decibels to get more of what they want. In the face of this type of outrageous anger, others may quake in fear and give in to them.

 

This is a societal problem and it’s becoming one of great magnitude. So, what can individuals due? First of all, we can refuse to sink to their level. We must raise the bar, not lower it. We must not allow their anger to goad us into debasing ourselves. If possible, ignore the bully when he/she is in intimidation mode. They feed on attention, deny it to them. Do nothing to reinforce the image they have of themselves as powerful and commanding. When forced to deal with their tirades, do so in a calm and rational manner.

 

How about, don’t give the anger-monger status within your group? Don’t give him/her standing. When an innocent member of your group (work team, neighborhood, etc.) is verbally attacked by a bully, stand up and give the injured party moral and verbal support. It takes a little backbone to set things right. Should the bully engage in physical confrontation, call the police.

DEAD LIKE ME by Kelly Miller ~ a review, Scary Childhood Memories

Dead Like MeThe sexual abuse of a pedophile, in my opinion, is akin to premeditated, attempted murder. It destroys the core being of it’s victim(s).

Detective Kate Springer and her partner, Detective Patrick Jessup arrive at a murder investigation crime scene where a young teenager’s body is partly covered with leaves and twigs. When Kate gets a closer look at the girl’s face, her world is shaken. The face is a dead ringer for Kate’s own face at age thirteen, except that the victim has dyed black hair. The girl had been strangled with bare hands, indicating a perpetrator with some physical strength.

So, either the resemblance is a total coincidence, a product of an over active imagination, or the victim is somehow connected to Kate. This is not your ordinary detective, hunt ’em down, murder mystery. It only took a few pages for me to “get” who Kate is…to understand how the demons from her own childhood sexual abuse impact her ability to handle this case. Her emotional trauma causes her to withhold this identity-connection from her partner and her superiors. In the beginning she even wonders if she harbors such intense repressed feelings from her own abuse that she’s projected her own childhood image onto Kimberly Callahan, the dead teenager. Something, that in fact, is entirely possible.

However, when she interviews Kimberly Callahan’s tipsy mother, who reeks of alcohol, Kate examines a recent photograph of the girl and again notes how similar Kimberly is in appearance to her own childhood self.

Kate uses sarcasm as a means of communication, no doubt because her emotions have been shut down for a long time. She has just finished therapy with the department psychologist after a two week mandatory leave, and this case sends her running back for additional therapy. She is tough and is a survivor, but her past clouds her judgement and she makes more than one questionable professional decision. Of course, that only adds to the novels twists and turns.

The investigation leads Kate and Patrick from the victim’s mother who is falling apart, to a group of alienated students who dress in black, to a junior high school teacher who supplements his income by selling kiddie porn.

We are introduced to a villain who is beyond creepy. As the novel nears its end, there are a few graphic details where Kate recalls her own sexual abuse. Graphic, yes. Exploitative or gratuitous, not at all. These details are organic to the story as Kate comes to grips with her abuse at the hands of a virulent and murderous pedophile.

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